your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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