Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
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Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
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My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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