We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
