How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
