I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
