I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
