We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Randomize
