Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
