No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
