Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
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He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
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You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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