The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
