ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???