brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
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i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
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Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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