Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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