Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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