so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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