Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.

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(540): View more from Virginia

Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?

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(719): View more from Colorado

No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.

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Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Read it at the TFLN blog
(361): View more from Texas

As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"

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(765): View more from Indiana

Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.

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(703): View more from Virginia

The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker

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(708): View more from Illinois

Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.

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