Texts From Last Night

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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi

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  (781): Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi http://tfl.nu/7xgh
  Replies (2) Good night (1257) Bad night (752)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.

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  (612): from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend. http://tfl.nu/b39s
  Replies (27) Good night (903) Bad night (1555)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom

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  (978): Why are you at a bar in Connecticut? (617): Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom http://tfl.nu/akoi
  Replies (20) Good night (3740) Bad night (724)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?

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  (402): how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship? http://tfl.nu/xa9a
  Replies (44) Good night (8683) Bad night (848)
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  (646): View more from New York

  But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.

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  (646): But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet. http://tfl.nu/nifm
  Replies (21) Good night (1972) Bad night (4178)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship

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  (954): Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship http://tfl.nu/znld
  Replies (8) Good night (1487) Bad night (3772)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.

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  (206): I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof. http://tfl.nu/xi8t
  Replies (6) Good night (1807) Bad night (718)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.

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  (303): Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank. http://tfl.nu/xsli
  Replies (7) Good night (1781) Bad night (698)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.

  (1-775): View more from Nevada

  I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.

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  (775): They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy. (1-775): I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere. http://tfl.nu/3byv
  Replies (6) Good night (2351) Bad night (694)
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  (310): View more from California

  That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI

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  (310): That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI http://tfl.nu/k5sn
  Replies (14) Good night (752) Bad night (1550)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.

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  (813): Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich. http://tfl.nu/j6pr
  Replies (10) Good night (1808) Bad night (680)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...

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  (617): Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed... http://tfl.nu/fkp9
  Replies (7) Good night (1487) Bad night (754)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...

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  (407): Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school... http://tfl.nu/m7rc
  Replies (2) Good night (796) Bad night (491)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs

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  (905): He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs http://tfl.nu/gppx
  Replies (4) Good night (641) Bad night (389)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!

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  (443): Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch! http://tfl.nu/w5ox
  Replies (2) Good night (652) Bad night (370)

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