If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
