i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
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I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
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I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.