Texts From Last Night

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  (925): View more from California

  is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?

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  (925): is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong? http://tfl.nu/a78d
  Replies (53) Good night (4927) Bad night (1526)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.

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  (248): so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse. http://tfl.nu/dgcu
  Replies (12) Good night (749) Bad night (3347)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.

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  (678): I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night. http://tfl.nu/yws8
  Replies (9) Good night (8628) Bad night (945)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.

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  (425): Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange. http://tfl.nu/6ccw
  Replies (19) Good night (1359) Bad night (5553)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.

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  (321): mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday. http://tfl.nu/054y
  Replies (10) Good night (5171) Bad night (973)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.

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  (970): Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid. http://tfl.nu/9pof
  Replies (17) Good night (1095) Bad night (5348)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.

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  (703): Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress. http://tfl.nu/zjlr
  Replies (7) Good night (2610) Bad night (1080)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.

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  (416): He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut. http://tfl.nu/vwy6
  Replies (8) Good night (5167) Bad night (890)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed

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  (330): tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed http://tfl.nu/01ok
  Replies (22) Good night (2089) Bad night (1105)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.

  (1-301): View more from Maryland

  I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.

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  (301): His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy. (1-301): I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok. http://tfl.nu/z40b
  Replies (16) Good night (2987) Bad night (640)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.

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  (306): Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians. http://tfl.nu/ykxr
  Replies (8) Good night (1245) Bad night (541)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building

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  (410): Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building http://tfl.nu/wjxy
  Replies (3) Good night (1064) Bad night (412)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.

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  (815): It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend. http://tfl.nu/9c86
  Replies (3) Good night (576) Bad night (343)
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?

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  (971): Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art? http://tfl.nu/i4so
  Replies (4) Good night (529) Bad night (285)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.

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  (905): I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot. http://tfl.nu/9bpy
  Replies (0) Good night (186) Bad night (296)

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