I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
