The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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