yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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