He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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