they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize
