this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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