I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
