i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
