Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
