I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
