You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
