I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
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She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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