Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
