Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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