he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Randomize