Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
