i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
