i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
