Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
