shes about as inviting as chlamydia
This house was built for laser tag.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
