god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
