My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
im on a boat
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