Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
