yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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