we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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