She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize
