Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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