alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
