The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize