a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
We are two peas in an std pod
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Randomize
