Sry I called you an 8
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
