She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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