Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
