I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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