Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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