i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
