Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
