Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
