It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
