I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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