they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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