I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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