Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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