I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
The adults are the big ones right?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
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