I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
