margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
