I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
