it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
